Archive for December 2006
I arrived in Dubai at lunchtime yesterday, after a morning that set the seal on my business trip. After this, I have no interest in visiting Bangalore, or anywhere on the Indian subcontinent, again.
My driver arrived on time: 06:30, two hours before the 8:30 flight, but I was late. The condo duty manager, who was trying to check me out, kept getting interrupted with other problems, just because he showed his face at that time of the morning. Not a problem: I knew the airport wasn’t far, and we did it in ten minutes, arriving well before seven.
After twenty minutes in the check-in queue, I checked in as normal, and got my boarding pass, but they would not take my luggage? Why not? It didn’t have a sticker saying it had been scanned. There’s a scanner off to one side as you enter, but no signs saying that a scan is required at that point. Nor was there someone to operate the scanner, not as I had entered the terminal earlier, nor when I went back to get scanned. I frightened the crap out of four local workers, just standing around the scanner, when I slammed my case on to the belt, and one scurried off to find an operator. Another ten-minute wait, a ten-second scan, and a sticker. This time I didn’t go to the back of the check-in queue, since I had my boarding pass, and all they had to do was print and attach the label.
Security was standard, if lax, despite the Indian Army uniforms on the operators; of course, my boarding pass was in my jacket pocket, being scanned, at the point where another soldier wanted to stamp it, so he had to wait. The bag got a scan, a sticky label and a stamp saying “32 DEC 2006”. Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren’t you?
Then, to the departure lounge (singular): I saw a Gate 2 sign, but everything seemed to be happening at Gate 1. I was in good time, so where was my flight? It wasn’t on the tiny TV screen at all, which showed a few other flights; in retrospect, I guess these were originating flights, while my plane had made a hop from Mumbai, which I wasn’t aware of. There were no airline staff in the lounge at all to check with, from any airline.
At about my scheduled departure time, a line started forming, and I joined it; a couple of other passengers thought it was my Dubai flight, and so it turned out to be. A member of the ground crew appeared and apparently tried to announce something, which was inaudible through a cheap PA over the noise from the TVs and passengers.
So, after a couple of strange questions, such as “do you have just the one bag checked in”, I was on board, just twenty minutes late. The plane was an Airbus A310-300 that had clearly seen a lot of air miles. It was so old that it still had the air-powered headphones and video projectors. The seats were cramped, and my neighbour seemed think it was acceptable to dig his elbow in to my side, but I was aboard, and we would soon be off.
Not so fast. A few passengers were standing around in the aisles, looking confused, and one came up to me with one of the cabin crew, who asked to see my boarding pass. All present and correct, I was in the right seat, so what was going on? The flight was “overboarded”, something I had never heard of before. Overbooking, yes, but that is usually sorted out before booking passes are issued. On this flight a few seats at the back, including mine, had been allocated twice, with two passengers having valid boarding passes for each seat.
I didn’t need to say anything; perhaps it was because I was there first, or perhaps because I was a Westerner whose reaction might have been “disproportionate” – a concern they would be justified in – but I was not asked to move. I didn’t see what happened to the other gentleman, but I hope they found him a place in first class for his trouble. There were other seating issues, including a lady who just grabbed a row for herself and her kids, and it took another half hour to sort that out.
Could we leave? No, there were still some immigration checks going on – it’s apparently harder to leave India than to enter it – and some more bags were loaded. We eventually left 90 minutes late. The rest of the flight was OK, thankfully: the breakfast was very good and big enough to be called Brunch, which was appropriate. I had my Tablet PC out, catching up on podcasts, and for a while all the window shutters were down, so everyone was able to relax. Just as surprising was the way my checked case actually arrived, in one piece, not too long after I picked up a few bottles in the duty-free shop in the arrivals hall. (A great example of logical thinking – that is when arriving passengers have time, and are not yet burdened with all their luggage, meaning it makes sense to shop then.)
Now I’m chilling out in Dubai: we’ll be going shopping just as soon as I finish this and hit the shower, and tomorrow is Christmas. I don’t mind calling it Christmas if my friends are: it’s just a name, and it helps to remember that midwinter was being celebrated long before any organised religions existed.
I didn’t want to do it, honest, but I have really had enough of the “plane on a conveyor belt” myth, so I’m posting my take on the problem here. I’m using the kind of title that search engines will like, and I can point other people, on other forums, to this response.
The basic question goes something like this: if you could put a plane, of any size, on a conveyor belt, will it take off? The conveyor belt speeds up to match the plane’s exact speed, keeping it stationary, so it can’t move forward, right?
The question is framed badly – a bit like an “irresistible force vs. immovable object”. The first key point, which most people get, is that the engines are pushing against the air, not driving the wheels, which spin freely with a small amount of friction. This should make the answer easy, if you think in terms of Forces: the plane is trying to move forward, what would hold it back? Not friction – far too small a force. The plane moves forward, and eventually takes off, regardless of whatever the belt is doing.
Not enough? Well, what can the belt do, anyway? Another fundamental problem lies in the idea of the conveyor matching the plane’s speed. How would such a control system work?
- measure the plane’s speed
- speed up the belt to match the speed of the plane
- GOTO 1
Steps 1 and 2 both take time.
- All forms of speed measurement mechanism have an inherent time delay. If you doubt this, go back to the fundamental definition of what speed is: distance over time. This is even true of high-frequency speed measurement systems such as Doppler Radar or Lidar, as used by law enforcement.
Another way of looking at it: if you could take a zero-time snapshot of any object at any speed, it would always appear to be standing still (velocity=0), making that useless for velocity measurement: you need time to measure the distance travelled.
- If the conveyor has any mass, it can not change speed instantaneously. That would require infinite acceleration of its mass, meaning an infinite force would be needed (since force = mass x acceleration). Anything less, there’s a time delay. Don’t believe me? Try putting the figures in to the basic Newtonian acceleration formula, A = ΔV / T , where A = acceleration, ΔV = the change in velocity, and T = time = 0. Oh, and before you invoke Einstein, be aware that his Relativity formulae do not contradict Newton’s at these non-relativistic velocities.
- With these inherent time delays in the control system: by the time the conveyor reaches its intended speed, the plane has accelerated to a new speed, so the conveyor is slower than the plane, which is thus moving forward! Repeat until V0, V1, and Vr (takeoff).
Can I go now? 8)
How appropriate. NAS is one reason I’m in Bangalore at all this fortnight: Network-Attached Storage is one of the two product families that I’m here to give training on, and a major source of aggravation in my work.
There’s not much wrong with the products, but there is much wrong with the way they are being supported by my company. Without saying too much, the issue can be summarized as: our NAS systems share a common base hardware platform with our general server products, supported by another team. The operating system on them – Microsoft Windows Server 2003 (now at R2) is also fundamentally common, with some renaming and restrictions that are due to licensing, not technical changes. There are differences, notably in the form of add-ons, but these are minor, so in my view the result is a huge duplication of effort that could easily be avoided.
Never mind: if effort is to be duplicated, let it be duplicated here in Bangalore, where bodies are cheaper. My “condo” is an expensive place by local standards: a better gauge might be in the costs of things, converted between Rupees and Dollars / Euros. The complimentary morning paper is 3 Rs ($0.07 / €0.05); in the little shop at the office, a 2-litre bottle of water is 20 Rs ($0.45 / €0.33), while a can of Pringles, imported from the USA, is 79 Rs ($1.77 / €1.34): half what I see in Dublin for the ones made in Holland.
One headline in this morning’s Deccan Herald, however, points he way forward: increasing costs are costing India business, in this case to the Philippines. If the eastward trend continues, the jobs might be back in the USA by the middle of next decade. Don’t you just love Globalization?
My own westward march stops at Bangalore Hindustan Airport on Saturday morning: it’s East for now, first Dubai for Christmas week, then back to Dublin and work. Hrrmmph.
Tonight, in the restaurant attached to the condos where I am staying, the staff turned off the radio that had been playing Techno music shortly after I sat down. Why would they do this, upon seeing me, without being asked? It stems from an incident last night, Saturday. All through the week, the same Techno noise had been playing, though it hadn’t been as loud, and there had been other diners present. Last night I was an early diner, and had the place to myself.
Firstly, try and imagine the scene: a relatively quiet street in the suburb of Koramangala, south-east Bangalore, India. The decor in the restaurant is restrained: white walls, orange tablecloths, waiters in brown and black. The cuisine is semi-authentic, aimed at Western visitors such as myself; some bland dishes for the weak-of-stomach, plus the chef’s ideas of the kinds of local cuisine we might like e.g. “Mysore Pepper Mutton”, served with various vegetables, paneer, rice, roti, and garnishes such as sambar and yoghurt. I’ve been specifying “spicy” whenever asked, since the hot main courses are presented with the proper mild side dishes, unlike some restaurants in the UK. So far, so sensible.
Still, as noted, the radio, is playing loud Techno. This was totally inappropriate for the venue and the people in it, a prime example of what musician Robert Fripp calls a “noise pollution unit”. Since I was the only customer, I asked if it could be turned down. No complaints: the waiter went over, turned a knob, and the music faded away.
Up to that point, “noise pollution unit” was a mere metaphor: with the volume on the radio unit down, the real noise pollution took over. Electrical noise in the cabling from the radio was being amplified, almost to level of the Techno. BZZZZZZZTZZZZZZZR RZZZZZZZZZTTZZ ad nauseum. I went over and tried fiddling with the wires a bit, but to no avail. The manager came over to see what I was doing.
I was nice. Honest! I kept a smile on my face, and explained, to start off with, that Techno is Dance music, and no-one was dancing. Right? Now, after the waiter turned the radio down, he agreed that the speakers were noisy. Would I like him to turn the amplifier off?
This is the point at which I nearly lost it. I simply said “yes, please”, but what I really wanted to ask was: “are you such an insensitive clot that you think it’s acceptable to play Techno in a quiet restaurant? It’s Dance music, do you see anyone dancing?”. Had I got the question out, I was imagining an answer along the lines of “Techno? It’s Western music and we have Westerners here. You all look alike, and all your music sounds the same to me.”
So, Mr. Manager, continuing our imaginary argy-bargy: “what about the speaker noise? Doesn’t it annoy you at all? Can you imagine any customers who would ever, under any circumstances, want to listen to speaker noise?” Expected answer: “I only work here. The customer is always right, my own opinion doesn’t count. You Westerners are crazy, you’re capable of anything, even listening to speaker noise. My senses have been dulled by too many customers and their demands.”
So, I’m the idiot here, the foreigner who’s being difficult, because I have a sense of the appropriate? I came away with the impression that the staff there, knowing they’re dealing with Westerners, have abdicated their own senses of logic and taste, not realizing that some customers actually think beyond the obvious.
The “noise pollution unit” was not the only example of this odd passivity among the staff. Twice this week I placed an order, followed by a conversation something like this:
- “I would like (starter) and (main course), please.”
- “Are you sure?”
- “Is there a problem with my order?”
- “Are you sure you want that?”
- “Can you tell me why I should not want that?”
- “You have ordered (starter) and (main course).”
- “Yes, I did.”
- “Look, can you tell me what is wrong with my order?”
- “Is it too much? I don’t know how much is included, so you need to tell me if it is too much. I can’t tell from the menu.”
- “It is too much.”
- “OK, thank you. Remove (starter), and replace (main course)with (main course2).”
- “You want (main course)and (main course2)?”
- “NO! Just (main course2)!”
This did not happen in France last June: there, the staff would actually advise the customers, understanding that the customer can not be expected to be right about everything on the first visit to an unfamiliar restaurant. They take that attitude a little too far in Paris, I think, but it was great down in the Rhône Valley’s family-run gourmet establishments.
The most depressing thing is that all this aggravation can be avoided, with a little thought, a little empathy, and a little imagination. Is it any wonder I’m turning in to a Grumpy Old Man? If the alternative is a numb, careless acquiescence to any and all circumstances, then bring me a pile of Grumpy, a pick-axe and a helmet. Please?
I have a cellphone account, and a shiny new phone, the HTC S620 Smartphone I wrote about earlier. OK, it looks a little dorky when held up to my face, but work it does. It’s good enough for that, since it’s rare that I need to make long personal calls, and I work in an office (I’m not a “road warrior”).
So, after all the communication going on at work, and through email, most months I don’t make much of a dent in the free minutes and SMS messages supplied with my contract. I have considered changing cellphone plan to give me fewer minutes and more SMSes, but a new plan means a new contract, according to O2 Ireland, and I don’t know which country I will be living in in six months, never mind twelve.
What is a boy to do? How can I use up all those free SMS messages? I think I’ve found a way: it’s called Twitter, and I’ve added its RSS feed in the sidebar here. I don’t know if this type of application has a name, but I’m calling it microblogging. It does sounds like a fad – are there really people blogging every detail of their lives? Well, I won’t be doing that, and after the test messages, I’ll do it if I have the means, motive and opportunity. (Which reminds me: I should try the Flick + blog updating method again.)
It’s Saturday afternoon in Bangalore, yet here I am, indoors in front of a computer. What gives?
One thing I’ve learned is that I do not make a very good tourist. In a new city, I’m at my happiest when I can strike out on my own and go where the locals go. Easy in the UK, Ireland and North America, and possible in Europe where I look like a local, as I’ve found in the last couple of years (in Germany, France, Portugal and Denmark). I’m learning Japanese with a view to visiting Japan, so I would at least have a sporting chance at non-tourism, but even that level of integration that is totally out of the question in Bangalore. Even where English is spoken, the colour of my skin is as good as a bullseye on my shirt, so I would need to stay in tourist-friendly areas.
Bangalore is a big sprawling city with almost no street signs. So, can I get to the tourist-friendly areas? On one level, the answer is “yes, of course”, by using taxis, assuming the driver understands what you are asking. I object to using taxis on an everyday basis; even when money is not an issue, as it isn’t here, it’s an admission of defeat in my view, a sign that you are not at home in the city. If I can use public transport, dead reckoning and a map, to get to the right place at the right time, the city passes my Friendly City test.
I learned, long before I arrived, that Bangalore is not a Friendly City. Here the taxis fill the gaps in public transport for the locals, but they expose tourists to additional complications. It’s common knowledge that taxi drivers here get kickbacks if they direct tourists to certain shops; even if I hadn’t read the Wikitravel page on Bangalore, my colleagues warned me that our agency drivers do this too.
This morning my driver took me on a short sightseeing tour around the east and centre of Bangalore: Indiranagar, Ulsoor Lake, the Vidana Soudha and Vikasa Soudha (government buildings), Cubbon Park. I told him I would not be doing any shopping, because my case was full. Would he try this scam on me? Indeed, he would. He knew a nice place to buy things he said, close to where we happened to be passing. Would I like to take a look? Sure, I said: we can look, but I’m not buying anything. Is the shop owned by a friend of yours? No, no!
They were clearly used to people like me being driven there: a security guard was there to chase away an autorickshaw blocking the parking bay, and a doorman was there to open the car door for me. Big mistake right there: I do not require such special treatment at a shop, it tells me I am being watched and will be “sold at”. (If Tony Blair can open his own door when his Jaguar pulls up at 10 Downing Street, I can do it at a tourist trap.)
The stuff in the shop was OK, but clearly aimed at tourists: wood carvings, cashmere scarves, gemstone jewelery, even rugs – at which point I almost burst out laughing at the tackiness of it all. I thought I was going to spend five minutes in there, out of politeness, but I was out of there in three, fending off salesmen. They weren’t that aggressive as salesmen – having learned a thing or two from previous Westerners, I imagine – so no feathers were ruffled, I think.
My driver asked “next place?”, but when I said “no more shops”, he offered to drive me back, which I could hardly argue with. I’d had the idea that I could spend some time by myself in the shops on Commercial Street, but I don’t like the idea of having a driver at all, far less one who has to sit around and wait while I wander around aimlessly. I might try to hit the Forum Mall later or tomorrow, which is supposed to be fairly close, but I have to find it on the map. It would help if I could find myself on the map, too, but this apartment complex’s address could be anywhere in a square kilometer radius, that’s how vaguely it’s given.
I’m prepared to invest my time and effort in learning about a city, culture, or country, so that I can spend time there without being a tourist. With less than two weeks in Bangalore, a city that promises a lot of hassle but has little to offer me, I’m simply unable to summon up the motivation, and I don’t see why I should. I could never be at home here, not after the Friendly City experiences I had in London, New York and Toronto before now. The world can come to me, via the Internet, which is good enough until I return to Dubai, a week from today.
A neat idea from Sean of voisin.org: since joining the 9rules community is bringing in a group of new readers, why not provide links to some previous posts that I think they might like? OK, oldest first:
- terminal half
- 34 Eek!
- refer unto others as you wish others to refer unto you
- the february of technology
- that friday feeling
- a new hope?
- cheesed off
- a grey day
- i know the feeling
- eternal sunburn of the witless mind
- many scars
- a common search
- how many webs do we weave?
- going south
- schmap flap
- how fair the realm
- think agnostic – act atheist
I also have another blog I try to keep updating, one with a specific theme: found poetry.